Tag Archive

Emotion-ectomy

Posted on 2018-11-24 by Melissa

“I don’t want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them and to dominate them.”

Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

I had an emotion-ectomy today. Can you believe they removed all of my emotions in a one hour, day surgery?

Technology is truly amazing.

When I arrived at the clinic the waiting room was full of people laughing, crying and getting angry. What a mess! Clearly, this is a much needed operation.

After filling out the required forms, I changed into a gown, a nurse put an IV in my arm and they wheeled me into surgery. I was wide-awake as they detached my emotion sack; the slimy, quivering mess that it is. The doctor, with a look of deep satisfaction, held it high in the air a moment before dropping it into the metal kidney shaped dish beside the operating table.

I have to say, it hardly hurt at all and I don’t feel bad about it. In fact, I don’t feel anything. No guilt, no shame, no anxiety. I mean, you might think I took extreme measures but let’s face it, once your emotion sack gets infected you have to take quick and decisive action.

What exactly constitutes an infection, you ask? Well, that is debatable but most modern medical professionals agree that emotions shouldn’t cause you daily discomfort. That’s not how life should be.

The doctors say that I may still behave emotionally on occasion; more out of a force of habit than anything else. I may even produce a single tear at a particularly poignant moment but there will be no more crying at commercials. There’s a money back guarantee of that much.

As I walked out the door the receptionist handed me a jar containing my emotion sack preserved in formaldehyde, a sort of memento. It was curious peering at it like that for the first time. It’s kind of beautiful. No longer under its unpredictable control, I tilted the jar a bit to examine its opalescent striations as it sloshed about gently, like some sort of demented jellyfish.

I wasn’t even sure I wanted it at first but I think now that I’ll keep it. Maybe I’ll dry it out and make myself something useful, like gloves. Or perhaps a shower cap? I think that’s sensible.

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Wonder-full

Posted on 2018-10-14 by Melissa

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.”

W.B. Yeats

There is a newspaper girl I always see on my walk to work.

She stands in the train station handing out copies of the Metro and in a singsong voice she calls out to the passing crowds “have a wonderful day!”, which always strikes me as an awfully cheesy thing to say.

I mean, who really cares what sort of day strangers have? And who are you to demand such a thing of me? I bristle at the very suggestion; I’ll have whatever sort of day I want, thank you very much. Or perhaps more accurately, I‘ll have whatever sort of day comes at me.

But then I got to thinking about the word wonderful, and heard it for the first time as “wonder-full”. To have a day full of wonder is really a pretty excellent suggestion.

What is wonder? Wonder is a feeling of surprise mingled with admiration, caused by something beautiful, unexpected, unfamiliar or inexplicable. It’s an experience of awe; a positive feeling of being in the presence of something vast that transcends our understanding of the world.

Wonder strikes me as a childlike thing and indeed children are full of it. As a child, the world is fresh and full of these awe-inspiring experiences.

But what about adults? How do we get our wonder?

One way, quite obviously, is to seek out new experiences. Take a dance class, listen to beautiful music or travel to a new and exciting place; there are many ways to find wonder.

Nature itself seems to have an uncanny ability to invoke it, whether it’s an amazing sunset, a waterfall or the view from a mountaintop after a long hike.

And then there is a third option: to open ourselves up to the wonder all around us. If we can just quiet our minds a minute and take a break from all the distractions. If we can put our phones down, get out of our heads, stop planning for tomorrow and see the beauty that surrounds us.

Everyday wonder is found in a shared smile and an unexpected conversation. It’s revelling in the details: the vibrant scarf of a passing stranger and a mug of warm coffee. It’s a day of small kindnesses and quiet moments in between all the delicious hustle bustle of life and it leaves me feeling at once small and suddenly connected to everything that surrounds me – even the newspaper girl in the middle of that swirling crowd of commuters.

So yes, thank you newspaper girl, I will have a wonder-full day.

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