“9 Everyday Problems You Can Solve With Vaseline” flashed the internet advertorial. Which left me to ponder what problems Vaseline could solve for me.
In my mind, I ran through some of my everyday problems applying Vaseline to each in turn. Trouble deciding what to eat – add Vaseline! Forgotten password – add Vaseline! Traffic jam – add Vaseline! Stubborn packaging that’s impossible to open – add Vaseline! Ultimately my problems were not resolved and some situations got noticeably worse.
Just in case the suspense is killing you – and you don’t have access to the internet – I did go back to read the article to find the answer. Vaseline can treat dry skin, blisters, squeaky hinges and stuck zippers, remove water rings or makeup and protect pet paws from hot pavement. You can also coat your baby in Vaseline to avoid eczema – and the poles of bird feeders to foil pesky squirrels from climbing up and stealing food. If you’re feeling lazy, you can simply coat the baby and let it wander.
Some problems will resolve and some new, previously unimagined, problems will arise. Which is pretty much what middle age is all about.
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